why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize