So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
