She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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