sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way