I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.