Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION