My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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