lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
How external is "for external use only"?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
