What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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