with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
