I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
