im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
