sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.