I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was like eating out sand paper
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?