Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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