bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
