He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize