Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
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i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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