Buhtt sex?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
