: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
NoShamevember. You game?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
