***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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