I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
