Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
