Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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