There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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