I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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