This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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