if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
