im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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