Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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