Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
nut hugger
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
