so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
