i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the raccoons are back...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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