bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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