Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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