Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
