he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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