You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
