I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
