In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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