I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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