atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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