A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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