My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
