you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
