I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
OPIZZABONMYDICK
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
