Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
