I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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