ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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