Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
