I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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