god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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