He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
