I think my vagina is haunted
My pussy is not your playground.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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