So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
