There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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