We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
