He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
